The hedonic treadmill is a metaphor for the human tendency to pursue one pleasure after another, but always return to the same baseline level of happiness. As a person makes more money, expectations and desires rise in tandem, which results in no permanent gain in happiness. This means finding our ‘happiness’ from external factors doesn’t work in the long run. The new fancy car that we get quickly becomes the old car, the new clothes become the old clothes. Just like a drug tolerance, we build a ‘stuff’ tolerance, always needing more nice things to make us feel better.
The faster we start going on the hedonic treadmill the harder it is to slow down and get off. We develop tunnel vision and can only see what’s right in front of us – there’s no time to look around. As anyone who’s run on a treadmill, the faster it’s going the more you have to focus on what’s right in front of you to not fall off.
So how do we solve for this? Ramping up the speed of the hedonic treadmill of filling ourselves up with external stuff to feel better doesn’t work, but what does? What can actually increase our base level of happiness?
This dissatisfaction that pushes us to ramp up the speed on the hedonic treadmill isn’t necessarily a bad thing, it’s hard wired into our evolution for a reason. The issue is that the energy is focused in the wrong direction. Focusing solely on what we want for ourselves is never going to be fulfilling. Humans were designed to have a purpose greater than just serving our own needs. It’s important to recognize that our built in dissatisfaction can be a massive motivator which can be leveraged for our benefit – by focusing this attention on others.
I’ve found the best way to start to break the cycle of that hedonic treadmill is to start making small efforts to care for and invest in those around me. That’s not to say that what I want doesn’t matter, or that others have more value than me. It means that I’m comfortable enough in my own skin to know that I’m going to be taken care of and that I can give energy and resources towards making the lives of those around me better.
My ego is quick to play tricks on me – to convince me that I need to only watch out for myself. This might work for a bit, but along the way the people that are most selfish are also the ones who burn the most bridges and end up the most lonely.
I know from experience it’s true – I’ve seen this happen myself. The times when I’m so wrapped with my own desires and my own ego are the times when I’m the least happy. The times when I’m able to focus on others are the times when I’m most satisfied. The question that I’m asking myself today is: where do I notice areas in my life where I’m only thinking about myself? How can I channel that energy into something more productive? How can I flip that energy into supporting others? I believe if I focus energy outside of myself, life is better.